


My Queen

by name_and_numbers



Series: Forbidden Love AU [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Ambushes and Sneak Attacks, Ben Solo is an attentive lover, Bodyguard Ben, Bodyguard Romance, Confessions, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Forbidden Love, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Princess Rey, Rey gets the first time she deserved, Talk of Dubious Consent, They gotta hide at an inn, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, and there was only one bed, but rape is not detailed in this story, rape warning is there just in case, the dubious consent is not between Rey and Ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:47:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23010457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/name_and_numbers/pseuds/name_and_numbers
Summary: Sequel toYour Highness. A year after the royal wedding between Rey and Hux, there's rumor of unrest in the kingdom, and an ambush forces Ben and Rey to take cover at an inn for the night...
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Forbidden Love AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1653736
Comments: 85
Kudos: 196





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I loved writing _Your Highness_ so much, and I'm so grateful and appreciative of your responses to it! (Every one of them made my day, you guys are so wonderful!) However, it was also posted at a time when a lot of people were reeling through the ROS novelization, and as much as I love to write angst... I think this fandom has had plenty of it for the last few days. So, if you loved YH enough to want it to be a stand alone, by all means, consider it one. However, hope was a theme in it, and if you'd like to entertain the thought that the Queen and her Knight have a chance... this is for you. :)

It had been a self imposed rule for Ben to be awake, dressed, and at his post long before Rey woke. It held the obvious importance of making sure the way was clear and she was safe, but over time, it had the added benefit of being the first to greet her before she took on the day. He found he eagerly looked forward to the smile she'd give, a quiet good morning for a greeting, and the chance to ask how she'd rested. It was intimate to him, in a way, and one he cherished for the simple opportunity to put her at ease before she took on greater priorities for the kingdom.

The only morning he'd ever dreaded was the one after her wedding. For as much as he'd tried to prepare himself for the worst possible outcomes, it was nothing compared to the reality of watching Hux stride out of the room, the ever present scowl on his face disappearing only for a moment to smirk knowingly at Ben. 

"She learned to stay silent."

Ben calmed himself with the fantasy of beating Hux to within an inch of his life. "Highness," he grunted, just loud enough to allow Rey to hear him from the other side of the door. He wasn't allowed into the bedroom unless granted permission, so he waited patiently for Maz to assist Rey with her clothing before she finally stepped through the threshold.

She didn't try to hide from him. She knew it was useless. She looked miserable, as though she'd had her very soul wrestled from her. She sighed, ignoring the concerned look from Maz, and folded her hands before her. "Maz, please see to it that my schedule is arranged accordingly. I'd like to take a walk in the garden before breakfast."

"Of course," Maz bowed her head and stepped away promptly. It was only then, alone for the first time since the night before, that she looked at Ben. He observed her closely; she didn't seem to have any physical signs that Hux had hurt her, but then again, he hadn't heard anything that sounded directly violent, either. The implications on their own made his stomach churn.

_ Give her this moment. _

He nodded at her with a small smile, trying to shower her with kindness. "Good morning, Highness."

The muscles in her jaw worked for a moment. She nodded back. "Will you walk with me?"

That she'd asked, knowing he'd follow her no matter where she went, said everything. He nodded and followed her lead, walking slowly next to her, noting how she stepped a bit more gingerly than normal. He felt sick, and decided the best thing he could do was stand silently. After her words from the night before, he knew it was torture for the both of them.

Rey had walked to the corner of the garden, where the shade from the trees was an added comfort in the bright warmth of the morning. It was also out of the way of most eyes, and was the one place Rey had confessed her deepest secrets to him over her life. He stopped at the mouth of the path, standing guard over her secret place, and watched in agony as she turned her back to him, looking over the hills and greenery of the countryside, wrapping her arms around herself and leaning against a tree. He'd never wanted to go to her more than in that moment, but just before he took a step towards her, she held out a hand to him, palm outward.

_ Halt. _

It was a hand signal they'd mastered over the years. She wanted the time alone, and needed him only to be sure she stayed alone. 

If that was what she needed… he'd make sure she had it. He straightened and turned back to the path, trying to ignore the sounds of her weeping that broke through the breeze.

Knowing his place was a new thing to master now that Rey was married, and as the year passed, it only became more complicated. Palpatine died shortly after the wedding, and it was only a few months later that Hux was crowned King. He'd wanted to argue on Rey's behalf, aghast that Hux would assume to take claim over her birthright, but the man was stubborn as he was brash, and he took the crown against the wishes and cries of the people. He was as unpopular as ever, and it wasn't long before Ben was informed about rumblings of discontent between the two kingdoms. Peace was fragile as it was, and with a popular monarch tossed aside, the people had enough. Hux, however, would hear none of it, and Ben was left to protect a Queen who was disrespected… and a possible target. Whatever she felt about the potential danger she didn't share with him. 

While they did their best to maintain the respect and care their relationship previously held, they knew everything was different now. The words shared at the wedding changed everything. There was a layer of longing that wasn't there previously, so tangible that it took more effort to hide it than ever before. It was torture to stand outside the bedchambers and not think about what could be happening on the other side, and even worse, to see the look on Rey's face in the mornings, not able to protect her from what happened behind closed doors.

She felt it, too. He knew it.

It was a feeling he’d gotten too lost in, standing in the opulent office Hux used for royal matters. He’d been summoned, and was trying to bury the irritation when he entered the room alone. He had a precious life to watch over, and in a time of uncertainty, the last place he needed to be was away from her. Surely Hux had enough sense to realize that.

The King stormed into the room moments later. Ben straightened, keeping an authoritative tone. “You wanted to see me, Your Majesty?”

“Only because you’re the Captain of the Guard,” Hux spat, looking in a hurry and impatient. “I’m going to keep this short, Solo. I need you to get the Queen out of the city.”

Ben frowned. “Is there a new threat?”

“Does it matter? There’s people within our kingdoms that are upset with the way things are now. Imagine that, being upset with peace. Do people truly have nothing better to do with their time?”

“Perhaps it would help Your Majesty’s image to the people if decision making wasn’t so impulsive.”

Hux sneered, pointing a finger. “Don’t talk back to me, Solo. I know she went under me months ago, but that’s a privilege you do not share with me.”

_ Praise every deity for small favors. _ “My apologies. It won’t happen again.”

“Right.” Hux grabbed some items off the table, adding them to a stack of papers. “I don’t care where you take her, but we need her away from here. Far away. Perhaps the neighboring kingdom of Dathomir. We’ll send word she’s on her way and it’ll reach them a day before you arrive.” Cold blue eyes stared in a challenge. “Unless you think you’d need more time to get there.”

Ben quickly thought of the distance to the kingdom, so strangely far from where they were, and the rains that had been hammering the countryside for days. Of all the places to take her, why Dathomir? “It depends on the conditions of the roads, Your Majesty. Planning a trip like that seems dangerous through dirt roads, especially considering Dathomir has had past issues with flooding.”

“Then leave  _ early. _ ”

“With all due respect,” Ben started slowly, “I feel it would be unwise to try and make a journey of that distance by carriage through the wet season. A closer kingdom would be much safer.”

“A closer kingdom means she could be easily reached in the event of an attack. Honestly, Solo. Are you truly so stupid?” Hux rounded the desk and went to stand in front of Ben. It was an ineffective tactic, but since he’d been crowned, Hux had taken every opportunity to use his status to his advantage. “Does her life mean nothing to you? Wouldn’t you rather your Queen take a longer route - even if it’s more dangerous - as long as it keeps her safe?”

It didn’t make sense at all. It was the most ridiculous and short sighted command he’d been given, and he bit back an insult that would have surely resulted in punishment. “Your logic is wise, Your Majesty,” he answered instead, using a tone that indicated he believed anything but.

An undercurrent of fury moved within him hours later, sitting in the rocking carriage and watching drizzle seep into his clothing. To take a monarch so far away from her home, and with so little protection, was absolute madness. He felt instincts kick in ways they hadn’t before, furiously scanning anything and everything, frowning as though it could grant him better sight.

“You seem intent on staring the forest into destruction, Captain.”

He blinked, momentarily snapped from his thoughts to see Rey giving him a small smile. 

“The conditions behind you leaving are… disagreeable, at best,” he grumbled, crossing his arms and giving her his full attention. “Surely Hux let you in on details prior to our departure.”

Rey stared back at him blankly, and it was with another wave of anger that he realized she had no idea where they were going. “You truly don’t know?”

“Armitage doesn’t tell me anything, Ben,” she answered, stating it as though he should have known that already. “He says it’s beneath a Queen to ‘be aware of the goings on and what have you’s. Your place is by my side and to enforce whatever laws are put in place.” She changed her voice to mimic Hux’s, and he had to fight a smile, picturing her practicing her mockery when he wasn’t around. She placed her hands on her lap, sighing. “It’s infuriating. I am a Queen and I know nothing that’s happening within my own kingdom.”

Pushing aside his own anger, Ben took a moment to truly look at her for the first time since they’d gotten into the carriage together. She was wearing thick makeup and a dress that was far too impractical for travel; layers upon layers, with little to no breathing room in the humidity of the rains. Her back was straight, the posture of royalty she never once tried to be. He knew what all of it really hid - dark circles under her eyes, skin that had lost it’s tan and luster (Ben could still recall the hurt look in her eyes when Hux had said her skin was burnt to darkness and her freckles ‘hideous’) and a fighting spirit grown weary of a day to day battle that never lessened in intensity. Suddenly, he felt guilty for not saying something earlier.

“There are no diplomats and standards to hold yourself to here, Your Majesty,” he said gently, moving across the seat to face her directly. He uncrossed his arms and leaned back in his seat. “You look tired.”

The Queen - the farce of an imagine Hux tried to make her be - melted before his very eyes. Rey,  _ his _ Rey, closed her eyes and slouched in her seat, sighing heavily when she fell back against the padding. “It’s something new every day,” she said, speaking quietly, a tone reserved just for him. 

“The makeup is different, I’ve noticed.” His tone was kind, but he turned a critical eye to her dress. “That, however, is better suited for colder weather. Whyever would you wear that for travel?”

“It wasn’t  _ my _ idea.” She rolled her eyes. “Armitage wanted me to look presentable while leaving the castle. Imagine! I’ve been raised with these people, they’ve known my face my entire life, and  _ now _ is the time to be  _ presentable _ ?”

He said nothing, choosing to keep words about Hux and presentability to himself. Rey reached for a strand of hair that had curled in the humidity and tucked it behind her ear, smearing some makeup in the process. He allowed himself an amused smile, reaching into a pouch and pulling out a handkerchief. “There are no townspeople here and we won’t reach our destination anytime soon. I see no need to be something you’re not when you’re with me.”

She looked at it a moment, confused, then groaned. “I smeared it, didn’t I? This cursed…” She took the handkerchief and ran it over her face, grumbling the entire time. He watched, almost hypnotized, as the makeup was easily removed. He wasn’t sure how, but he imagined she was probably uncomfortably sweaty in that dress and assumed that had something to do with it. He reached into a basket Maz had handed him before they left, relieved when he saw extra water had been packed. It would do no good to allow the Queen to be dehydrated. He idly wondered if the dress had a layer that could be removed. 

Finally, sighing deeply with relief, she reached for a fan at her side and waved it quickly. He could just feel part of the breeze, and found himself smiling softly at the smell of her perfume. She looked back at him, holding the handkerchief in her other hand, and grinned back. “Have I made it worse?”

“No. I’ve missed...” He needed to be careful. He knew they were treading dangerous ground. Instead, he lifted a hand and gestured across his nose with a finger.  _ Your freckles _ , he finished silently, and felt no shame when she openly blushed.

She cleared her throat. “I believe you were preparing to tell me what we’re doing out here, Captain.”

His smile faded, and his tone took on a more serious nature. “The Guards and myself have received word of discourse in the kingdom.”

She frowned. “Discourse?”

“According to reports, there’s talk of an uprising being staged against the crown.”

“You mean a resistance.”

“Resistance, rebellion, whatever you choose to call it, it’s all the same. His Majesty thought it would be wise to get you out of the kingdom.”

“What?” She straightened. “Ben, that’s absurd! We…” 

He waited, watching as she slowly figured it out. Rey glanced out either window, making sure one of the other three guards weren’t in earshot. There was a quiet urgency in her voice when she whispered, “We’re a moving target.”

“He wants you out of the city for a reason and he wouldn’t tell me.” He crossed his arms, taking another glance outside. “It’s pointless to take you anywhere without knowing what kind of danger we might be dealing with.”

“Where are we going?”

He met her eyes. “Dathomir.”

“ _ What? _ ”

“My thoughts exactly. He planned to send word as soon as we left so that they’d know by the time we arrived, but with the rains and the road conditions…” He trailed off, gritting his teeth. “He’s a fool. If there’s a danger to the kingdom, forcing you to leave the palace walls with four men as protection is begging for an ambush.”

“That’s what you’re planning for, isn’t it?”

He said nothing, taking another long look through the forest.

“Ben. What is it you’re not telling me?”

“I have no proof. It’s just intuition. But based on decisions Hux has made before, there’s barely any reason to believe…” He frowned deeply. “It’s been a while, but do you remember how I taught you to use a knife?”

It  _ had _ been a while, easily a year, but Rey nodded anyway. “From the front, up, under the ribs; mid back, up, full strength.”

“Very good.” From the folds of his cloak, he pulled out a sheathed dagger, passing it to her discreetly. “Hide that where you can, and do not hesitate to use it under any circumstances.”

She noted his posture, the tension of his movements as he reached for his sword. “Ben?”

“The forest is quiet.”

She didn’t breathe as she looked out the window. She saw the heavy drizzle, waving hypnotically in front of her, the droplets falling from the roof, and the still trees and sloshing of the carriage wheels. There wasn’t a single sound of birds.

Ben pounded on the roof, three hard and commanding thuds that were alarmingly loud in her ears. “Full stop!” 

The authority in his voice was met with the jarring halt moments later. The guard on horseback rode to the door Ben was currently stepping out of. “My Lord?”

Whatever Ben said to him in response was too quiet for her ears. Trembling, never taking her eyes off the forest, she straightened and pressed against the padding of her seat, trying to hide behind the folded curtain as much as she could.  _ Always stay out of sight until you need to move _ . She gripped the hilt of the dagger, not knowing what she was looking for, but trying to keep a watchful eye all the same.

Rey only had moments before the carriage rocked violently. It forced her head to slam into the doorframe, and the force was such that she nearly blacked out. Her ears rang, the commotion outside diluted by the impact. She had no idea how she was still holding onto the dagger, but her awareness started to return quickly the moment she felt hands on her. Feeling the sheath with the tips of her fingers, she was able to remove the blade, but still didn’t have the wherewithal to aim correctly. The blade swung wildly, but it connected with something, and a voice hissed in her ear.

“It’s me! It’s me! Get moving!”

_ Ben. _

He was reaching into the carriage from the horse another guard had ridden. As she gripped his arms and kicked her feet through the layers of her dress, desperately trying to find purchase so she could get out the door, her senses slowly started to return; there was screaming just behind her, (“Get the Queen!”) a clanging of swords, and the rough pull of Ben’s hands as he grabbed her none too gently and balanced her on the horse. The creature’s spine dug into her belly, but Ben placed a hand firmly on her back, leaning forward and holding her in place as he dug hard into the horse's side and rode as fast as it would carry them.

* * *

He didn’t stick to the path forever.

The greatest advantage he’d been given was that none of the attackers had been on horseback, but the nagging fear of getting her to safety drove him to push the horse as much as he could. He slowed their pace as they rode into the woods, and stopped only when he could hear a brook and the harmonious chirping of birds. It took far longer to control the thundering pace of his heart. Rey had stayed still and silent, but her grip on the saddle was white knuckled and tense. Gently, he reached down and touched her fingers with his. “It’s alright,” he whispered. “You’re safe now.”

He didn’t move until he saw the first sign of her grip lessen. The horse took advantage of the moment to move to the edge of the water, taking large, desperate gulps, and Ben allowed it to happen, thankful for the getaway they were able to make. He stepped down and immediately reached for Rey, who groaned loudly and winced once he got her to her feet, holding a hand to her stomach.

“Are you alright?” he asked, searching all exposed skin for signs of bruising. 

“I’m fine,” she breathed. She clearly wasn’t, but she’d not suffered anything major other than rough handling and the hard press under her ribs. She looked around them, rainwater dripping from the ends of her hair, now loose and wild. “Did they follow?”

“They were on foot,” he answered absentmindedly, taking another turn and scouring the trees and brush for immediate signs of danger. “Regardless, we shouldn’t linger.” 

Rey nodded, taking deep, shuddering breaths, before looking him in the eye. “Thank you.”

He looked at her a moment, understanding passing between them, before he quirked his lips. “I should be thanking you, I suppose, for not listening to me.” He raised his arm, showing her a long cut across the fabric of his tunic, the edges stained with blood from the wound underneath. “I’d rather have this than the knife in my chest.”

“That was  _ you _ ?” she gasped, reaching for his arm and gingerly holding it.

“I can’t blame you. It sounded like you hit your head pretty hard.” His words were punctuated by a brush of his fingertips at her hairline. She winced, hissing quietly. “Forgive me,” he murmured, letting his hand hover. “That will hurt for a few days.”

Despite wanting to be closer to him and his touch, Rey took another glance at the blood on his arm and slightly turned away from him, reaching for the pouches attached to the saddle. “What do we do now?”

Ben glanced at the sky, dark eyes assessing the cloud cover. “This drizzle might remain and we’re losing sunlight. We need to get to the nearest town as quickly as possible.” He looked back at her, then frowned deeply at her dress. He truly hated the damn thing. He reached out a hand and touched a fold under the bodice. “Is there something modest underneath this? Another layer you could passably wear?”

There was no time for the thrill she felt at his words. The implication was clear: it was too heavy and too much of a burden to wear into a town. She nodded quickly, raising an arm and pointing to a set of laces on her side. Without a word, Ben reached into the folds of his cloak and pulled out his dagger - had he taken that from her when they rode into the forest? - then took the knifepoint to the laces. They broke easily, and he methodically scrambled to rid her of clothing that was too bright and ornate, never once entertaining the idea that he was helping the woman of his dreams undress. There were far too many dangers present to indulge in fantasy.

The layer underneath, it turned out, was a perfectly dull color that would at least help her blend in a little better. He scowled when he realized there were sections of it soaked through with sweat - notably under her arms and where the fabric had settled into the crease of her thighs - and regretted not being able to offer her fresh water. Instead, he removed his cloak and draped it over her shoulders, pulling the hood over her head, and cut the insignia of his status off the front. It pooled at her feet, but it was far more important that she be covered than anything else.

“What about you?” she asked quietly, looking at his arm. He’d forgotten about it entirely. The blood had mixed with the rain and seeped into the fabric, thin rivlets trailing down his fingers. Taking one of the discarded pieces of her dress, he pressed it hard into his arm, cleaning off as much of the blood as he could, then tossed it into the river. 

“In case anyone is still following us,” he told her, then mounted the waiting steed. After he helped her up, he gave her a moment to get settled in front of him, then turned upstream and started the horse into another gallup. “Check the pouches,” he said after a moment, speaking louder over the sound of the wind in their ears. “Take inventory. What do we have?”

It was difficult to manage, but Rey was able to show him the meager things within; a few bandages, a small bag of coins, treats for the horse, and a deerskin thankfully filled and untouched with water. It didn’t take much to convince her to have as much of the water as she wanted, and he didn’t protest as she took the bandages and tried to tend to his wound the best she could. It was sloppy and nowhere near as tight as it should have been, but it stopped the bleeding and was easier to hide under the sleeve.

They made great time, coming to the top of a hill with sunlight to spare, finding the cozy firelights of a small town settled in the crook of the hillside. It wasn’t much, but it was at least easy to spot an inn from their vantage point. Ben quickly scanned the saddle for any signs of royal insignia before slapping the reigns, veering back onto the road as the drizzle started to turn into a steady rainfall.

“Listen carefully,” he spoke as they drew near, the authority in his voice making no room for argument. “Keep the hood up and cover as much of your face as you can. The last thing we need is for you to be recognized when we don’t know who’s out here.” He paused for a moment, sighing deeply. “I would go so far as to say speak only when I talk to you, and even then, use as few words as possible. Do you understand me?” The hood bobbed back and forth in a nod. “Very good. First we find a room, then we find a meal.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few things I need to note before we get started here. There's talk of dubious consent between Rey and Hux, and while it's not stated that it's explicitly rape, it's not exactly non consensual, either. Rey is a royal in a time when women didn't exactly have rights over their own bodies, but I want to be sensitive to those who may struggle or be triggered with the topic. So I'd like to draw your attention to the tags I've added to this story. If you feel I've not tagged things correctly, please let me know (nicely!) in the comments and I'll work to make it better, but if it's not something you're comfortable with, you can stop reading at "her heart fully exposed, trusting him with it" and continue at "His grip on her knee tightened."

The horse’s hooves through the muddy path was the only sound between them for a while. As the homes and citizens of the city drew near, Rey lowered her head, fighting back a dangerous curiosity to look around and see what it had to offer. Ben’s form was solid behind her, his warmth radiating through his cloak at her shoulders, and she breathed steadily, trying to draw as much strength from him as she could. Her senses were finally restoring themselves fully, and she felt the throbbing ache at her head, a dizzying sensation that she couldn’t decide was better or worse than how cold her legs and feet were. Peripherally, she saw them ride past wooden structures - homes, she guessed - before pulling off and stopping in front of a trough. 

“Have you room?” Ben asked from behind her.

“We do, sir. You can lodge your horse and find a bed right there. Payment is a few shillings.”

“It’s only needed for the night.”

“Even better, sir. It’s not too late, you should be able to get a warm meal. Perhaps a drink too, if that’s your fancy.”

Ben’s hand reached in front of her for the bag that held the coins. He carefully scooped them into his palm, then paused. She shared his hesitation; while there were shillings inside they could use, the majority of what stared back at her was currency that was useless outside of the castle town. Whoever rode with them must have brought his own money instead of taking something from the treasury they could have used. Carefully, Ben thumbed through the coins until he had all the shillings in one hand, then tightened the pouch and tucked it under his belt. 

His movements were methodical and no-nonsense; he got off the horse and helped her down, holding her far more gently than he had hours earlier, all while gripping the schillings in one hand. With his free hand, he reached down and took her arm, guiding her across more muddy road, holding her steady when her steps pressed deeply and stuck. Her shoes were beyond ruined, and she couldn’t wait to remove them and try to restore heat to her toes.

He led her to a building that had loud laughter coming from the inside. She was grateful for the solid floors, but as much as she tried to hide it, she started to shiver, a combination of the day and their race for cover catching up to her. She did her best to focus on Ben’s hand, the addictive warmth of his palm holding her cold fingers, and was grateful he didn’t let go of her to pay.

“Cost of a room?” he asked someone she couldn’t see. Her neck was starting to strain under the weight of the wet cloak.

“Nothin’ too crazy this kind of day. Ye got a horse with ye?”

“Just one. We also need food.” He paused. “Perhaps a bath?”

Rey glanced at his hand instead of looking at him directly. Being able to afford a bath would be pushing their luck. Fortunately, the man laughed. “Not in this part o’ town! Ye couldn’a even afford it if ye wanted to. That right there is ‘nough for lodgin’ and a small meal in yer bellies. Open room’s the only one at the top of the stairs - ‘s got a leak. Maybe you’ll get yer bath water there!”

She could hear Ben’s scowl when he muttered his thanks. He tugged her hand and led her across the room, past the boisterous noise of drunk men, and up a stairwell. She focused on trying not to trip on the fabric of his cloak, carefully taking measured steps, and delighted when he slowed his pace to match hers. He was always so considerate and mindful of her, knowing she needed to stay hidden, but helping her all the same. She found herself anxious to get to the room, caring little how it would look. The safety was more important than opulence, and heavens knew all she wanted was a quiet place where she could speak with him.

The door jammed briefly when he pushed it open, but she didn’t space a glance until he led her in and shut it, throwing the lock into place. It was only then she realized the cloak was soaking wet, as was everything she wore. The room was small, warmed only by a fireplace that had a flame struggling to hold on. There was one bed with a simple blanket. As the innkeeper said, a basin was set near the door, half filled with water leaking from the ceiling. Everything was simple with the intent of housing someone only for a night.

Ben strode over to the single window, peering down into the streets below through the gaps in the wooden shutter. “Highest floor isn’t ideal,” he said, and she wondered if he was speaking to her or himself. “But this will do.”

“We’re safe?” she asked, not knowing what else to say.

He turned to look at her, the tension in his shoulders slowly easing away. He didn’t drop his guard fully, but he was easily more relaxed than he’d been moments before. “You’re safe.”

“That’s not what I asked.” She stepped further into the room to the meager fire, holding out her hands. “Are  _ we _ safe?”

He smiled gently, the last of the guardian intensity fading away. “As safe as we can be. The only way to know for sure is to survive until morning.”

He didn’t mean the words to be as dark as they could have seemed, and she knew that. Without knowing fully where loyalties lay, it was foolish to presume that making it to the next town meant they were fully free from their troubles. It was just a stop, but it still had the potential to be a dangerous one. She watched as he grabbed dry wood from a small stack next to the fireplace and eased it into the embers. He waited patiently, allowing the flame to build, before adding a few more logs. “We should get something to eat while we can,” he said after, fingering clasps that held his armor together. “The company downstairs might not be altogether pleasant, and you should stay out of sight as much as possible.”

Rey nodded, pulling the hood back over her face, failing to hide a shiver when the wet fabric made contact with her skin. Ben looked her over worriedly. “The room will be warmer when we return. Some broth will do you good.”

When he took her hand again, he covered the tips of her frozen fingers with his palm, trying to supply what warmth he could. “Just a bit longer,” he promised. 

She didn’t say anything as he guided her back downstairs, stepping a little harder than necessary to try and get feeling back into her toes. There was a small table open near a much bigger, warmer fireplace, and he took a seat across from her, holding up a hand to the innkeep to request what meal they could afford. Rey mostly kept her head down, but couldn’t resist sneaking a peek at the other patrons nearby. After the events of earlier that day, it was hard to look at a stranger without a sliver of doubt creeping in.

The laughter at the corner of the bar was almost painfully loud by the time they got their dinner - a small bowl of broth and a bit of bread that easily fit in Ben’s palm. He split it in half and set it on the table before her while she drank greedily. It wasn’t very flavorful, and certainly not like soup she could have at the castle, but it was a small favor she was grateful for all the same. She felt the heat move down her throat and into her belly, picturing it flowing through her blood and warming her fingers and toes. She lifted her eyes to Ben curiously, noting him chewing slowly. WIthout explanation, he reached across the small space between them and took her hand in his. He met her gaze and inclined his eyes to the drunkards at the bar. What they were saying now was impossible to miss.

“I tell ye, she coulda kept me cummin’ if she’d kept her mouth on m’ cock where it belongs. So she pulls back and says, ‘it’s too big, it’s too big!’ And I said, ‘tha’s the point!’ Put her lips back to work and milk’d all I had.”

A hot rush of shame turned her ears red. Rey looked back at the table, trying to convince herself to grab the bowl and continue eating, trying not to think of the images coming to her mind… or the memories that followed after.

“So ye didn’a fuck ‘er, then?”

“Fuck off!” The first voice screamed drunkenly. It felt like he was standing right behind her. His tone was unbearable as he belted. “There’s only two things a woman is good for: a warm cunt and a warm bed!”

A cheer. Another boisterous laugh. Bile rose in the back of her throat. Rey reached for the bowl, foregoing any sense of decorum, and quickly drank the rest of the broth before she felt she couldn’t. It was just warm enough to hurt her mouth. She held the last of her bread tightly, raising it to her mouth to nibble on. Ben gently squeezed her hand; there was nothing they could do without drawing attention to themselves - if they hadn’t already, with her shrouded in a black cloak and he in wet armor - but she did notice he finished the rest of his meal quickly, waiting patiently for her to give any indication she was ready to leave.

It wasn’t much of a signal, but it was enough. The cautious tension she’d had as she looked around earlier was gone, taken away by thoughts he couldn’t stop. Leaving their bowls, he stood to get her attention and pulled her along back to the staircase. The drunkard at the bar hollard something at them; Ben could do little more than let her lead, hoping his body could be used as a shield from his words. Vile in their nature, they’d done something to revert Rey back into the fabricated Queen he’d hated so much, her back straight and her spirit dimmed. He had strong suspicions of their origin, but chose to say nothing. She would tell him when she was ready to.

Back in their room, a healthy fire built warmth into the small space. He removed his cloak from her shoulders and draped it over a chair, moving to the front of the fire to help dry it. His armor followed shortly after, a small pile gleaming in the corner by the dried wood. His tunic and trousers were wet where it had been exposed, but for the most part, his clothing had dried. He removed his boots and set them at the foot of the bed.

Rey was frozen; at some point she’d sat on the bed, staring at her open palms on her lap. He felt guilty when he realized the simple clothing she’d had on under his cloak was soaking wet. She was probably miserable, and would fall ill if she didn’t warm up soon. He took his cloak off the chair and folded it in front of the fireplace, then offered her his hand. 

It took her a moment to realize he’d been holding it out in front of her, and his protective instincts flared. He guided her to sit on the stool, facing her towards the fire, then looked back at the basin near the doorway. The water would probably be freezing, but it was better than nothing. He brought it over to her, and he noticed she was watching him curiously, following his hands as he dug into the pouches in his belt, pulling out the bandages that had been in the saddle. Without a word, Ben knelt before her and reached for one of her ankles. Gently, he removed a shoe, caked with mud and grime, holding her freezing heel in his palm. Dipping the strip of bandages into the water, it wrung out easily with a firm squeeze in his grip. He brought it to her foot and dragged it from her ankle to her toes, washing the grime off her feet.

Rey stared at him, mesmerized. It was a very archaic gesture of servitude, to wash the feet of someone in higher status, and yet everything, from the careful way he handled her, to the gentle scratch as he moved the bandage between her toes, said anything but. He never asked, only gave, caring enough to think of her discomforts and working to relieve her of them. His actions spoke of gentleness and caring, the deep affection of someone loving another.

Warmth bloomed within her as it had many times before. He did not have her, and yet he still loved her, protected her, cared for her wellbeing. 

She was very familiar with the feeling.

“A warm cunt and a warm bed.”

His hand briefly paused over the basin. He squeezed the bandages a bit tighter than before.

“Can you imagine?” she continued, unable to hide a bit of bitterness in her tone. “To look at another life and simply believe it’s there for your pleasures only?”

He’d removed the shoe from her other foot, still washing her carefully. He said nothing.

“Perhaps I’m naive, but I cannot imagine belittling another so much as to assume who they are doesn’t matter.”

“It’s why your people love you,” he murmured, taking one cleaned foot into his hands and wrapping his fingers around her toes, trying to warm them. “You have a good heart. You strive to see the best in people.”

She stared at the top of his head, watching the strands of dark hair move about his shoulders and forehead. Was it as soft as it looked? “Sometimes it’s impossible to see the best in another, no matter how much you may try… to make it easier…”

He looked at her questioningly. She hid nothing from him - she wasn’t speaking of the drunkard, but of a longstanding effort she’d given up on. She was sad, he realized.

No, not sad.

Aching.

“Those words have been said to you before.”

This time, she did avert her gaze. It was the truth, and they both knew who caused it.

“Ben,” she started, closing her eyes. She said it the same way she had the day of her wedding. Without realizing it, he shifted closer to her, covering her knee with a hand. “I wanted…” Her lip wobbled. She was fighting desperately to control herself. When she looked back at him, he saw her as she was, her heart fully exposed, trusting him with it. 

“It’s what he believes,” she started, tears slipping from her eyes. “I... inconvenience him. Any noise I make is frowned upon, any gesture I make to try and ease…” Her face flushed, but whether it was from the fire or her own emotional turmoil, Ben couldn’t tell. “I bed a monster. I warm his bed, and I’m naught but a warm cunt for his cock.”

His grip on her knee tightened. His eyes were stormy, swirling with an anger and sadness she shared. It wasn’t what either of them wanted, and that was the worst kept secret between them. Moving slowly, her hand traveled from her thigh to her knee to cover his.

“Do you know what I do to make it pass?” she whispered, anguish in her words. There was a very clear line they’d never crossed, but the moment was too thick with emotion, and her heart was too full of him, to care. He didn’t look away, but when he released a shuddering breath, she knew he had an idea. 

“I wanted it to be you.”

He stopped breathing.

“I know there’s nothing we could have done, and I accept that, but I couldn’t stop thinking…  _ dreaming _ of you walking through those doors and taking me in your arms.” She took a shuddering breath, sniffling loudly. “When Armitage reaches for me, I close my eyes… and pretend it’s you.”

Inherently, she knew there was nothing to fear with Ben; Ben, who she knew loved her even if he hadn’t spoken the words, and who had never given her a reason to fear him. He’d been a constant companion, the man she’d grown to trust with her life, and the man she’d dreamed of loving as long as she lived. Still, they’d been painfully careful with their feelings, knowing that one small slip would be enough to ruin them both. There were matters of extreme importance, and the last thing she would do was act or speak in a way where she would lose him. However, there was something in the day that seemed to drug her senses and dull her caution. In this room, away from royal eyes and the threat of being seen, she felt the pull to be who she was, and to profess what longing was in her heart.

Ben could only stare back at her, and she knew he was considering the same. Dangerous ground. His life at risk. Her reputation smeared. He had nothing to offer but himself, and yet they were both aware it was all she ever wanted.

Slowly, his hand released her knee and stretched before them, trembling slightly as his fingertips met her cheek. They drifted across flushed skin until his palm cradled her jaw, fingers reaching the damp hair at her neck. “Impossible,” he breathed, looking into the depths of her eyes, willing her to see the emotion in his own. “Armitage Hux is a poor imitation of what I’d do for you.”

Her heart beat wildly. She blushed and knew it had nothing to do with the fire. Dismissing all thoughts of their status, focusing only on the man she loved, she reached up and held his hand to her face. Her eyes closed, reveling in his touch, nuzzling against the calluses and roughened skin like she’d always dreamed. He smelled of dirt, sweat, and a musk that was unmistakably him. His lips were parted when she looked back at him, moving her face just a bit to brush her lips against his palm. She dropped a small, sweet kiss to the butt of his palm, then lifted his hand to nuzzle his wrist. He was trembling, watching her utterly entranced, and she recognized that, despite everything they’d just said, he was still waiting for her to grant permission. Tender affection bloomed in her. He’d always be the considerate bodyguard. If he needed her permission to be her lover, she’d grant it.

“Show me?”

Whatever tension he held, whatever hesitation had rooted him in place for so long, snapped. Almost instantly, he leaned forward and guided her towards him. Anticipation thrummed between them, something long dormant finally awakening and thriving in their mixed breaths. Ben wasn’t sure how many kisses Rey had shared with Hux - nor did he want to know - but he’d be damned if he didn’t allow their first to happen as soon as possible.

It was the sweetest kind of torture, her lips tickling his for one eternally long second, before they both leaned in fully. She tasted of the broth they’d had earlier and something beautifully, uniquely Rey, and the feel of her hands grasping his tunic made his heart thunder in his chest. He raised his other arm to cradle her face in both hands, easing her to deepen the kiss. 

She sighed, leaning into him, trying to wrap her arms around his shoulder, and blinked in surprise when he pulled away. He stood tall before her, giving her a warm smile she was familiar with, but the look in his eyes was one she’d only ever seen in her dreams. Ben gazed at her with all of the emotion he’d had to keep hidden for years, and it sent a heat through her that made her breath catch. He offered both hands, palm up, and helped her stand from her chair, taking his time to press a slow kiss to each of her knuckles. Then he set them on his shoulders, bringing an arm around her waist to hold her flush against him, cradling her head as he kissed her again. It was more heated than the first, filled with devotion and longing that had finally burst through the dam of circumstance. When she wound her arms around his shoulders for the second time, she held him tightly. No dream, nor obligations, would tear him from her this night.

A third kiss, a fourth. His hands caressed her from the back of her neck to the dampened strands of her hair. As much as he wanted to get lost in the sensation, lost in the feeling of  _ at last, at last _ , it was hard to dismiss how wet her clothing still was, and how the fire did little to completely dry her hair. She was in danger of falling ill if she didn’t have warmth soon. Unless…

He broke away, holding her tightly in his arms, breathing in the faded scent of her perfume, battling his desire to have her and the need to take care of her. She was breathing as heavily as he was. One of her hands slipped into his hair to gently scratch against his scalp. He breathed her name - no honorific, no title, just her name - and buried his face in her neck. He couldn’t mark her, couldn’t tease the skin of her neck or shoulder with his teeth until she could barely hold onto him, but he could do plenty still. He left wet kisses on her jaw and down the column of her throat, breathing heavily against her. When he felt her tremble, he gave careful attention to a spot behind her ear, gently scraping it with his teeth, desperate to hear her. He could tell she was holding back. He wanted to coax everything he could from her. He’d just added a bit more pressure, and her gasp rang in his ears, when the old memory returned to him.

_ She learned to stay quiet. _

“You needn’t hide from me,” he murmured against her ear. “I want to hear your pleasure. Please, Rey?”

He caught her earlobe in his teeth and tugged at it, feeling it slip away after a slow pull.

“Ben..!”

How long had he waited to hear his name from her mouth like that? If she wasn’t aware of the growing hardness pressed against her, she certainly was now. It awakened something feral inside of him, hearing her like this, and he allowed his hands to roam more boldly, traveling to the small of her back and around to feel her thighs. She was becoming daring as well, wandering hands traveling to the hem of his tunic, pausing to finger the damp fabric.

“You…” she whispered, whimpering when his kisses danced along what exposed skin of her shoulder he could reach. “You shouldn’t be in these wet clothes.”

He was pressed hard enough to her neck that she wondered if he could feel how furiously her heart was beating. His nose trailed upwards, meeting and nuzzling against her own. He answered with desire, but a caring gentleness that made her tremble harder. “Neither should you.”

Rey took a step back and guided his hand to an area on her dress, reaching to help him remove her clothing piece by piece. There was a reverence in his actions she hadn’t anticipated, used to Hux’s impatience and sourness that her clothing wasn’t simpler, or off of her altogether. Ben moved slowly, fingers shifting through laces and fabric, never taking his eyes off of her or the skin becoming exposed. Instead of dropping her clothing to the floor, he delicately laid it on the chair she’d been sitting in. Naturally, she suspected - even when they were finally taking what they both wanted, he still had the awareness to care for her well being. 

The thought emboldened her. She reminded herself that this was Ben,  _ her _ Ben, whom she’d known for years and had never once belittled her. He shared in her loneliness, and had found a home in her and she in him. He was only ever honest, caring, and heartfelt in her secrets as he was with his own. He never minded her intensity, or will, or her fight. He seemed to delight in it, even teaching her when others wouldn’t. He loved her, and in his love, she had nothing to fear.

When he removed the last of her clothing, she didn’t shy away. She stood tall, proudly, at ease in her nakedness and the desire she saw in his eyes. He drank her in, from her flushed face to the slope of her neck, chest expanding with her steady breaths, strong abdomen and lean thighs. His gaze lingered on the dark hair at the apex of her thighs, but she simply waited for him to bring his eyes back up to hers. His desire was palpable. He brought a hand to her cheek and caressed her skin with the back of his knuckles.

“Exquisite.”

She smiled shyly, feeling a thrill at his approval. His hand fell from her face and lingered between them, palm open, inviting. “Come to bed, Sweetheart.”

_ Oh. _ She hoped - no,  _ knew _ \- he would call her that again if she only asked. With another breath, basking in her desire and his perfect, wonderful love, she reached out and took his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two wouldn't stop talking for another four thousand words, so you're getting a chapter three. The smut will be in there, I promise!
> 
> Follow me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/numbers_name)


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexy times ahead.

He drew her close, but instead of guiding her back into the bed, he placed her hands on the edges of his tunic, looking at her inquiringly. “Would you?”

Excitement ran through her. Despite their having been together for years, the last time she’d seen Ben without a shirt was when he’d gotten his scar. Even now the end of it teased her, disappearing under the collar of his tunic. Gathering the material in her hands, she raised it and watched as he submissively lifted his arms in the air, working it over his forearms and wrists, before setting it on the floor near the fire. She’d forgotten how pale he was, noting the exception past his wrists and from his neck up, the only skin she’d really ever seen for years. He was muscular, but not overly so, a wonderful balance with his height and stature. He was intimidating enough as he was without the status of royal guardian, but the collection of scars across his person reminded her of what he’d been through in the name of the crown - for  _ her _ name. 

Unable to resist, Rey leaned forward and delicately traced the scar from his collarbone to his chest. She could easily recall how red and raw it had looked the last time she’d seen it. Now it was as much a part of him as the memory of how he’d earned it. Slowly, she drew closer to him and pressed her lips to the end of it, tasting it with the tip of her tongue. She could sense his eyes on her, hear the slight deepening of his breathing, and brought her hands up to his sides.

Ben started. She pulled back just for him to reach forward and hold her to him, covering her hands and forearms with his biceps. “What…?”

“You’re freezing,” he stated, as though it were the most obvious thing to remember. He leaned over her just a bit, holding her in his warmth, hands running up and down her back. “Forgive me, you first need…” He looked back behind them and reached for the blanket covering the bed, folding back a corner. “Get in.”

“You’re not coming with me?” she asked, getting into the bed and wrapping the blanket around herself.

“Of course I am,” he said with an easy smile. “But it does neither of us good for you to still be cold and me in wet trousers.” He reached for the laces of his pants, never breaking eye contact with her. “Not the most romantic effort, but then again, nothing about getting ambushed and fleeing to an inn is romantic.”

“I find it quite so,” she mused quietly, staring openly at him as his pants slipped down his pale hips and thighs. He was hard, though she’d felt that already, internally marveling at the size of him, and wondered belatedly if it was polite to stare. Ben didn’t seem to mind, stepping back a moment to lay his clothes out by the fire before joining her, barely able to fit in the small space. He reached for her and she happily went to him, and the first contact of skin on skin was overwhelming. It was also the moment she realized how cold she was, shuddering into his arms and tucking her head under his chin.

“Do you?” he rumbled. “From now on, I’ll keep that in mind. Every common romantic gesture falls flat in the face of near death and a cold room.”

Rey smiled, winding her arm around his side and caressing his back with her fingertips. Her nose nuzzled the skin of his shoulder, seeking more of his warmth. “It’s because I’m with you, my heart.”

Ben sighed, utterly content. He raised an arm to let her use as a pillow while his other hand caressed from her ribs, over the curve of her stomach and hip, kneading her thigh. He slipped a leg between hers, encouraging her to bring one over his hip. His cock twitched between them, heat returning to her, and he reveled in the feel of her skin and the truth in her eyes. He kissed her slow, deeply, taking his time to explore her. He coaxed her mouth open with simple movements she followed, slipping his tongue inside. When she gently moaned, he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers.

“I love you, Rey,” he murmured, brushing the hair back from her face. He felt her shiver and ran a hand from her shoulder to her arms and back down again. “I have loved you for so long…”

“I know,” she smiled. “I’ve known it for as long. You’ve told me in your actions, your words… the day I realized you never saw the crown was the day I knew I loved you in return.”

“Truly?”

“Oh Ben,” she breathed, pulling his body against her core, whimpering quietly against his lips, “I love you. It’s only ever been you.”

Her action caused her to grind gently into him. He immediately responded in kind, holding her hip in one hand while his leg drifted higher between her thighs. It wasn’t the most ideal position, but the moment he came in contact with the heat of her core, he rolled her over to her back and held himself above her. He felt another timid grind against his leg and immediately shifted away from her.

“None of that,” he whispered, his tone almost playful. She pouted at him, and he leaned forward to kiss it off her, gently catching her lip in his teeth. “I’ll take care of you, sweetheart. I promise.”

“Was I not instructed to let you know when I’m given pleasure?”

“Indeed. I said you needn’t hide from me.”

“Then perhaps you should listen to your own instruction, my heart. If I have no need to hide, then I’ve no need to hold back.”

He smiled broadly. This woman would be the death of him and he’d revel in every second of it. He shifted his weight and settled more firmly between her legs, desire warming with the gleam in her eyes. Experimentally, he slid his body against her, matching her moan, and did it again and again until she wrapped her arms around his neck and forced him to her for another kiss.

“Here?” he whispered, balancing his weight on one arm and drifting a hand across her ribs. His fingertips grazed the underside of her breast, and her answer came in a whimpering shudder. Kissing down her throat, his palm settled just over her nipple, enough to feel it against his skin, but not nearly enough pressure for her.

“Yes,” she moaned, reaching over to flatten his palm against her breast. He chuckled against her skin, and the sound made her lightheaded. Wasting no time, Ben kissed his way across her collarbone and lower, finally coming to nuzzle against the swell of her breast. She fit easily in his hand; he delighted in the easy reach, catching her nipple gently between his fingers as he caressed and squeezed, listening carefully to her moans and breathing. 

He could only refuse the nipple near his mouth for so long. With a quick flick of his tongue, he wrapped his lips around her. He groaned encouragingly against her skin when her hands wove into his hair. She was breathlessly moaning his name, and the sound spurred him on to add more pressure. He tugged a little tighter, working her nipples into tightened buds, and in an enthusiastic tug he scraped it with his teeth.

“Ah!”

He froze, looking up at her. “No?”

“A little…” He waited, giving her time to search for the words. “A little too much, too soon?”

“I’m sorry,” he answered, pressing a delicate kiss to the nipple that had been in his mouth. He moved his head to her other breast, giving it the same treatment. 

“No need. I’m not an object to be handled delicately. I share in your enthusiasm, but I… tend to get very sensitive.”

Not a delicate object, indeed. He felt a surge of pride for her, happy that she felt unashamed of it. “All the same,” he wet his lips and let them drift ever so gently across her skin, coaxing her back to where they were before. He was more mindful of his actions, reminding himself this was something to savor, and took his time with her until she was panting and reaching for him.

He rose back up to her lips, smiling as she met him with an open mouth, meeting her tongue and taste easily. She was smooth and soft, like he always knew she would be, easily covering her hip in one hand and caressing the bone with his thumb. He let his fingertips drift across her skin when he raised his hand, pulling back to look in her eyes. The desire to watch her was one he’d long had. His nails slightly scratched her skin as they drifted down, angling slightly away to rest on her thigh. 

“Here?” he whispered, gauging her reaction carefully.

For a moment, Rey looked back at him. When she realized he wasn’t going to move without her answer, she turned her head and smiled. She was shy all of a sudden, and it stirred something within him. He settled at her side, letting her use his forearm as a pillow, and caressed her shoulder with the backs of his fingers. The other hand still rested on her thigh.

“Rey?” 

There was a small sheen to her eyes when she turned back to him. Without a word, she wound an arm under him, burying her hand in his hair, and reached down with the other to cover his. She squeezed it once. Then, releasing a deep breath, she guided it further in, moving through the soft thatch of hair until he palmed her completely.

They gasped as one. She felt hot, almost boiling compared to the rest of her, and already plenty wet. He leaned down and brushed her nose with his, moved by her simple guidance, but not wanting to miss a moment of her reaction to his touch. He started simply, caressing her in slow, easy movements, but when he slipped a finger between her folds, the hand in his hair gripped tighter.

She was  _ so wet _ already, beyond his expectations, and he mouthed along her jaw while he carefully explored the shape of her. She didn’t seem to mind, never taking her eyes off his, as vulnerable as she could ever be. He saw the slight crease in her brow when he hit a particular spot, and he ran his finger over it again experimentally. When her lips parted, he placed a small kiss on the corner of them.

“Here?” he asked again, finding the swollen bundle of nerves. She canted her hips towards him, silently asking for more pressure. He happily obliged, taking a moment to swipe at her opening and gather her arousal before coating her in it. She seemed almost baffled, hyper aware of every movement he made, and some animalistic part of him wondered if Hux ever prepared her like this, had even considered to make the experience comfortable for her. When her eyes widened as he trapped her clit between two fingers and let it slide between them, he couldn’t stop himself. “This pleases you?”

“Yes,” she whispered, touching his face. “It’s… I’m overwhelmed. You’re lingering so…”   


That answered his suspicions. Briefly nuzzling his face against her hand, he leaned down and peppered kisses across her brow, cheeks, and jaw, making his way to her ear. “I want to feel you. All of you. When you reach that precipice and fall, I want to watch you.”

The flush that was already blooming on her face turned a deeper shade of red. She groaned lightly as he added a bit more pressure, circling his fingers around her clit. “Ben… ah…”

Another curious thought entered his mind. Finding the spot behind her ear, he grazed it with his teeth, careful to avoid any marking, and pulled his finger away from her clit. She whimpered, panting, and met him with a wild stare. “It’s okay. I know.” Leaning forward to kiss her, he slowly slid a finger through her wetness, pausing outside of her entrance. He considered her momentarily, the possible experiences she’d had, and decided he wanted her to be free to speak if needed. Carefully, he slipped his finger inside her.

Her mouth formed an O, but she didn’t ask him to stop. She seemed like she was putting some kind of puzzle together, which was decidedly not how he’d hoped she’d react. “Rey?”

“You’re…” After another moment where she looked confused, she closed her eyes and smiled, reaching for his mouth and kissing him deeply. “Don’t stop,” she said against his mouth. “Show me.”

“I don’t want you to be afraid,” he whispered, dragging his finger out slowly and slipping back inside.

“It’s… not that.” Some instinct took over and she began her rotate her hips against his hand, thrilled when he responded a bit faster in turn. “I’m grateful. So grateful for you, my heart.”

An ache threatened to invade his senses, but he pushed it back, focusing on her and the way she moved against his hand. Just when she started to match his rhythm perfectly, he added a second finger. She arched against him gently, head pressing hard into his arm, and he moved back into a slower pace at her encouraging smile. She was enchanting, the very definition of his dreams. He was so hard he could barely stand it, but he’d be damned if he didn’t prepare her long before he buried himself in her. As if brought about by some divine humor, she became so wet that she started to squelch as his fingers moved in her. Her panting quickened. Her thighs started to tremble.

“Ben…”

“You’re so beautiful. So lovely. My eyes have never before been so blessed. To see you as you are now…” She tightened around him with his words. He pulled back enough to see her clearly, anxious to watch, rotating his thumb against her clit while he continued to pump his fingers. “You’re my dream, Rey. I’ve thought of you in my bed like this for so long, to give this to you.” 

“P-please…” Her hand tightened in his hair, grasping for purchase. “I-I… I need...?”

“Reach for it, sweetheart. I have you. I’ll guide you through it.”

It didn’t take much beyond that. Her body arched again, but this time she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his neck to hide the sounds she made. She was trying so desperately to stay quiet, using his shoulder to cover her mouth and pad the long, frenzied moan her orgasm caused. He held her tight, whispering encouragements, indulging in her spasms and noises. These reactions were for  _ him _ , and he cherished each one, pridefully storing all away in his memory to indulge in at will. As she slowly relaxed, his fingers eased from her, but his palm covered her protectively.

She looked punch drunk when she sank back into the bed, gazing at him with an adoration he didn’t think possible. Slightly canting towards him, she reached between them and ran her fingertips along his hardened member. He wasn’t expecting her to so soon after her own pleasure, and the sound he made rumbled throughout her. “Rey, you don’t have to…”

“I know,” she said, voice deepened in her bliss, a sound that somehow made him harder. “I want to help get you there.”

Ben smiled. “I won’t need much, I assure you.”

“Then use me. I want you to use me for  _ your _ pleasure.”

The way she said it made the smile fall from his face. “I am not  _ using you _ ,” he said, a bit more passionately than intended. “I love you. I’m making love  _ to you _ .” He cupped leaned over her, getting her full attention. “You are not a warm cunt for my cock. You are the woman I love.”

She hadn’t removed her fingers from his member, and his rise above her only emboldened her touch. She fisted around him, swiping the precum from his tip, and using what she could to slide over him. “Then promise me another day I can please you, and don’t make me wait. Claim me.”

They both knew they were fancy words and little else. There was no promise the events of the night could ever happen again, and somehow the depth of that truth snuck between them. He gritted his teeth, basking in the feel of her hand around him, and moved to settle between her legs. “Bend your knees. Put your legs around me when you get comfortable,” he instructed, twitching when she removed her hands, but reveling in the softness that replaced it. Cradling her head in both hands, he sighed against her mouth at the feel of him against her folds, gathering her arousal along his length. Angling his hips, he found her opening, pausing just for a moment to meet her gaze, and slowly pushed his length inside.

She was  _ tight _ , moreso than he expected, and she winced momentarily once the head was fully inside her. “Relax,” he reassured, pausing until she gave him a nod that she was ready. They repeated this, Ben dropping kisses to her face, neck, and shoulders, until she started to tremble at half his length.

“I’m sorry.” She was trembling, wrapping her arms around his back, hands gripping his shoulders. “You’ve done so well and I’m still…”

“ _ You _ have done brilliantly.” Very gently, he slid back a bit and moved back in, lost in the feel of her. “Do you not understand how you feel? You’re warm, and soft. You are the most wonderful thing I’ve felt in my life.” He could tell he was easing in, each thrust a little further than the last. “I am in awe of you.”

He lifted himself just enough to move an arm under her, helping her move her hips to meet his thrusts. He could feel her relax, feel the moment she met him without resistance. With a determined breath, his next thrust was harder, deeper, and they both moaned when he was fully sheathed in her. 

Ben stared down at her. Rey lifted her legs and locked her ankles behind his back.

“Do that again.”

His blood pounded in his ears. He thrust again, watching her eyes close. Again, and she moaned at the quiet slap of skin. He began to build a rhythm, addicted to her moans, the way her breasts moved beneath him, how her nails bit into his skin. The bed creaked gently under their weight. He couldn’t stand to be away from her, gathering her close, pressing his forehead to hers, as he moved a bit faster. He could feel he was close, and he forced himself to stay within his sanity, knowing he only had so much time to pull out of her. He reached in the small space between them and rubbed her clit furiously, catching her by surprise.

“Ben!”

“Unlock your ankles,” he panted frantically, her cry catching him off guard with how arousing it was. He felt her feet slide off his back, hating that she had to move. He watched her carefully, rubbing her faster and faster to a second orgasm, and just as her thighs trembled and her eyes squeezed shut, he felt her clamp around him. He quickly pulled out of her, fumbling to help her to release and spend himself, his head falling to the pillow as he cried out her name. There was a wet warmth on his hip and her thigh. He moved his hand from between them, going back around her to hold her tightly.

His weight mattered little to her; in fact, at the moment, it was a great comfort. As her heart slowed and her breathing evened, she became aware of how warm the room was, how tightly he held her, and how he was still breathing heavily into the pillow. She leaned her head against his and ran her hands soothingly along his back. She was covered in sweat and his seed, body thrumming and spent, basking in an afterglow she’d dreamed about, but never had.

It was perfect.

After a moment, Ben raised his head and looked down at her, lovingly brushing back hair from her forehead. He kissed her lazily. “Are you okay?”

She hummed against his lips, running her foot along his thigh and curling her toes against his skin. The caress made him shiver. “More than.” Her heart felt full, overflowing, cared for in a way she wasn’t used to. As much as she fought against them, tears stung the corners of her eyes. He kissed them away when they trailed down her skin, and she couldn’t help how moved she felt at his devotion. “Will you hold me?”

Without a word, Ben shifted and moved them until they were side by side, tucking her under his chin, pressing his lips to her hair and the tips of her ears. “You needn’t hide from me, sweetheart,” he gently reminded her. She pulled herself closer to him, weaving their legs together, and after a moment he felt the wet drop of tears against his skin. He simply held her tighter, lifting the blanket over her shoulders and cocooning her from the claws and cruelty of the outside world, knowing she’d confide in him when she was ready.

Outside, the rain continued to fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go! Assuming these two don't have more in mind for me like they already have. Pfft.
> 
> Please don't hesitate to leave a comment and let me know what you think. That shit makes my day. ;)
> 
> You can also follow me on Twitter [here!](https://twitter.com/numbers_name)


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time catches up with us all...

He wondered, after a moment, how long it took her to master crying without a sound. The thought made him ache, picturing a young girl in a loveless home muting her sobs with her pillow, and the connection to the woman in his arms now, breathing thickly but calmly, fingers tightening against the skin of his back. He’d stood guard outside her door for years, had been with her when she’d confided in secret and sobbed against his welcome shoulder, but never had he heard her cry in the night. Habit, he assumed. She’d lived through too much in her life already.

He said nothing, holding her as she asked, feeling the last thread of their isolation taper off. It was so easy to drown in her, to pretend they were the only two people who existed in all the world, and their love was something they didn’t have to deny. There were plenty of reasons for her tears, but he couldn’t shake the curiosity that lingered throughout the night, and realized, as much as he didn’t want to, they needed to speak of what went on behind closed doors.

“Does he hurt you?” he murmured quietly, brushing the top of her head with his lips, cradling her as much as he could. 

Rey said nothing for a moment, composing her thoughts. “He doesn’t… he’s not cruel. He doesn’t strike me, or force me.” She paused again, and he felt her fingers slowly wipe away her tears from his chest. “He’s… not as knowledgeable as you are, nor as patient.”

He understood now. Her brief wonder when he’d touched her, felt her by hand, wasn’t because she was scared, but because the feeling was new. A wild part of him took deep pleasure in believing he was the first to share that with her, running his hand from her shoulder to her thigh in one long caress. Still… “Do you mean you’re never ready when he…”

Impossibly, she moved closer, nuzzling her nose against his neck and breathing deeply. “The more intently I pretend he’s you, the better it usually is.”

He frowned. The want to knock some sense into Hux would have to wait. Gently, he rolled them over, watching in amusement as she struggled to follow, finding herself huddled over his chest. She looked down on him, eyes swollen yet bright, gifting him with a smile. “What’s this?”

He rested a hand on her thigh, the other touching her cheek. “An opportunity you don’t have often, I imagine.”

Ben was in no position to get hard again so soon, but he could see the thought pass through her mind, a curious wonder making her observe him. “It can be done this way?”

“One of many.”

“You…” she trailed off, staring at his skin, hands curving over his sides. Her voice was small, almost shy when she asked, “You’d want this?”

“You’re the woman I love,” he said simply. “I want everything with you.”

She struggled with a fresh wave of tears. The words were both a balm and a burn, a completeness she’d yearned for that was denied to her by status. Leaning forward, she kissed him, unable to stop her mouth from quivering. His arms held her tight, and she felt him ease the blanket higher on her shoulders, sheltering her. Protecting her.

Like he’d always done.

Rey mouthed along his collarbone, feeling the heat and taste of his skin. She felt whole, needed, finally united with someone who’d always seen her as an equal. She luxuriated in it, reveled in the feel of his hands over her body, his mouth whispering endearments and encouragement, the way he’d filled her and loved her. His heart beat steadily under her ear. She’d done well stopping her tears until the moment she remembered their time was limited.

“What are we going to do, Ben?”

She rose and fell with his chest as he sighed deeply. “What we’ve always done.”

“Can you?” She raised her head, looking into his eyes. “Can you pretend after this?”

The conflict was there. To want and not be able to take was the worst temptation of all. “I’ve had many years of practice,” he admitted, brushing his thumb along her cheekbone. “If I must do it to keep you safe, I will.”

“And I? Ben, do you truly think I can lay with Armitage and not dream of you after this night?”

He stared at her, taking in her flushed face, and disheveled hair, remembering how she looked when she came. It was his to hold, to cherish, and he had little doubt it would haunt him the rest of his days. “No,” he admitted. “For every night those bedroom doors close, I know I’ll find myself here, right now, wishing our lives were different.” He grit his teeth, swallowing a lump in his throat. “But Rey… there is nothing on earth that would make me regret tonight. I’d rather live the rest of my life with one night of giving you my love than spend the rest of it without you knowing at all.”

She looked away to compose herself. He hated that simple words overwhelmed her so. It wasn’t what she was used to. The love of her people was nothing compared to love from her family - all she ever truly wanted - and to be denied that over her life, to be mocked and belittled because she cared too  _ much _ , was a grudge he’d forever hold against Palpatine. She deserved to be told she was radiant, and while he always did his best while hidden in socially acceptable words, he’d longed to tell her for himself. 

Her hair swept over her shoulder, falling over a row of freckles he knew by heart. They didn’t stand out as much as they used to - Hux keeping her indoors saw to that - but he’d always be familiar with them. He leaned forward and dropped small kisses over every place they’d be, hoping his lips could heal the wounds Hux’s words had caused.

“What’re you doing?” she whispered, voice thick.

He hummed happily against her skin, gathering the taste of sweat and sex against his lips. “I love your freckles. All of them.”

“Ben…” he could hear the smile in her voice.

“Every single one,” he continued. “I try to tell you each day. I always tell you how much I adore you.”

He felt one of her hands slide from his ribs to her face, taking his hand in hers. She threaded their fingers together. “I often thought of your hands. How you handle your blade, while also being so gentle. You do so much for me, take such care for me.” She nuzzled her cheek against his, smiling adoringly when he pulled back to kiss her. “I’ve known you love me, Ben. Oftentimes I feel as though it’s the only thing that’s kept me together.” 

“You’re stronger than you know. You always have been.” He watched as she positioned herself at his side, resting her head on his shoulder. Their arms wrapped around each other, starting to feel the pull of sleep, but unwilling to let each other go.

“No matter what our future holds, I know I can face it with you by my side.” She ended on a yawn, squeezing him. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to lose this time, but…”

He kissed the top of her head. “Sleep.” He took a deep breath and allowed his body to relax. “We don’t need to leave just yet.”

The unspoken plea was clear:  _ I want one night with you in my arms. _

Content and sated, Rey couldn’t agree more.

* * *

She slept like she hadn’t in a year.

It was an unfamiliar comfort, resting in post coital bliss, the feeling leaving her limbs and eyelids heavy. It wove her through a deep and dreamless slumber, feeling like she was fully rested, yet hadn’t rested enough. A strange sensation, but altogether pleasant.

Rey became aware of warmth first, the wet wind from outside now welcome in the small space they’d shared. At some point, the blanket had gone below her arms. With a small shift, she could feel the lingering warmth of his body heat on the sheet next to her. Her thigh made contact with one of his legs. Under the blanket was comforting, just bordering on uncomfortable. 

The sound of a kiss. Another. The sensation of fingers lazily wrapping around her inner thighs. Unhurried movement at her core, and a buzz of pleasure up her spine. A wet press. A quiet puff of air.

Rey opened her eyes with a quiet gasp. Her senses slammed into her all at once; she was warm, yes, and aroused, beautifully aroused and hypersensitive, her nipples already distended and the ache within slowly building. She heard another kiss, and this time felt it against her wet skin, a lazy gesture with a loud sound in the small room. She looked down and almost climaxed on the spot.

Ben was absent from her side, but the shape under the blanket left no mystery to his location. What her thigh had made contact with was  _ him _ , the solid shape of him between her legs, and she realized she could feel the brush of his hair against her thighs. Biting back a moan when he kissed her again, she folded the edge of the blanket away from them. He couldn’t be comfortable in the way his body was squeezed into the remaining space of the bed, but he didn’t seem to mind at all. He was far more intent on the laziness of his actions. One of his hands rested low on her belly, fingers lightly caressing, while the other made a soothing gesture up and down her thigh. His face rested at her core, and from the flush on his cheeks and the evidence of slick on his lips, he’d been there for a while. His eyes opened, pupils blown wide with lust, and locked with hers.

Rey breathed his name, feeling incapable of doing anything else. If she wasn’t aware of her arousal before, it was almost painful in its clarity now. The sight of him made the ache within her deepen. As he closed his eyes, he pressed another slow, achingly tender kiss to her folds, but this time he did so with a smile.

He was her ultimate undoing. She understood that now.

She was momentarily frozen, unsure what she should do or if she was to do anything besides  _ feel _ . His hand at her belly rose to her sternum, spread fingers applying pressure to guide her back down to the bed. She did so without argument, staring at the ceiling and trying to control her frantic heart. She felt his tongue slip further into her, and let out a low moan when he made contact with her clit. How much had she slept through to be so sensitive?

He moaned against her, low and heady, and she felt the sensation all the way to her fingertips. The ways in which the gravely sound thrilled her were positively sinful.

“Worshiped as you rise,” he said against her, leaving her core briefly to press kisses to her inner thighs. “That’s how you’re meant to live.”

Impulsively, she shifted her legs and ended up opening herself further to him. He kept a hand at her thigh, holding her down gently, yet firmly, while the other hand grazed over a nipple. He was moving so slowly and lightly, as though they had all the time in the world, and the lack of direct or firm pressure was making her dizzy. “Ben, please…”

“Hmm, not yet,” he murmured, his nose nuzzling briefly though the thatch of hair while his lips softly mouthed around her clit. She whimpered at the sight, both of her hands rising to hold the arm between her breasts in a death grip. “But I will.”

The promise was sealed with a wet kiss. Her body vibrated with the sensations he sent through her. She reached for him, needing him to know what he was doing to her, threading a hand through his hair while the other clasped the hand at her chest. He chuckled - she swore she could feel  _ that _ to her fingertips, too - and squeezed her hand. 

It was heady, overwhelming, more arousing than anything she’d felt in her life. She was on fire, wet with want, vibrating as though some other being was trying to break through her. Ben was moving so simply, so calm and unassuming, that he had to be possessed by another being in the night. She was trembling at the power of his lips and tongue, completely at his mercy, and yet he chose such an agonizing pace. Her shuddering breaths were heaving. A dirty tactic was her only option.

“My heart…”

“Not yet.”

She moaned with pleasure and frustration. “You’ll be the death of me.”

“I’m counting on it.” She could hear his smile, the scoundrel. She moved her hips, desperate for more friction. He released her thigh and pressed her hips into the mattress. “So stubborn. Do you not trust me?”

“I trust your intent is nothing but the -  _ ahh _ \- prolonged torture that makes a heart -  _ ohh _ \- a h-heart stop.”

“Patience, my love.” Her body shuddered when he brushed his lips against her clit. “Deep breaths. Relax. Feel.” His thumb rubbed against the crease where her thigh met her hip. “At this moment, there’s no need for haste.”

Letting her head fall back on the pillow, she forced herself to relax, breathing deeply and steadily through her nose. Muscle memory willed her into meditative breathing, and as she felt her body ease, she realized how hot the fire burned within her. She could feel how wet she was, and how attentive he’d been to her the entire time. Ben was lapping her up, alternating between long, lazy strokes and short, open mouthed kisses, all in an effort to further guide her towards a release she was much closer to than she realized. When he kissed her again, the sound was almost obscene.

There was no need for haste because she’d woken at precisely the moment she was ready. Whatever time he’d spent on her prior had the desired effect. This time, when she gripped his hair, it wasn’t out of frustration. “ _ Oh… _ ”

He said nothing, but his ministrations at her clit noticeably increased. He was still too soft, the contact too light, but every moment he touched her was a shock through her body. Her mouth fell open with her deep, shuddering breaths. 

Finally, his lips closed over her more firmly. It was only for an instant, but it was enough to make her gasp. The touch of his tongue was a gentle tease. Just as she’d started to ease down, he did it again. She forced herself to relax, dazedly wondering if he was testing her, and whimpered breathlessly when he did it a third time. She could barely say his name, pleading for more, wondering how long this torturous crawl towards a release would last.

Rey felt his lips slide onto her clit again, and this time, he did the one action he’d neglected to do since she’d been awake - he sucked. Pleasure shot through her, pushing her head further back against the pillow as her hips rocked into him. She keened when he didn’t let go, and began to tremble when he flicked his tongue roughly against her.

After so long with nothing but gentle strokes and brushes, the pressure was too much. She released his hair and gripped the pillow, covering her mouth to hide her cry as her orgasm slammed into her, coursing throughout her body in a way that she swore it touched her soul. His arm held her in place, completely ignorant of her flailing legs, guiding her as far over the edge as she was willing to let him. Even with the pillow over her mouth she was still loud. He was thrilled throughout its entirety, taking this moment and holding it close to his heart. 

He didn’t release her clit until she pushed him away with hands and legs, thighs closing together tightly when she curled onto her side. Wiping off his mouth with the blanket, he crawled his way back up her body, holding her to his chest and wrapping his arms over hers. It was painfully obvious how hard he was, her pleasure only goading him on, but he didn’t want her to feel she had to reciprocate. He acted simply because he wanted to.

“I have you, sweetheart,” he whispered into her hair, squeezing her trembling body into his own, kissing the back of her shoulder to help calm her. He was fairly certain she’d never had an orgasm like that in her life. “I have you.”

He was overwhelming in his sincerity. One night with him was filled with more depth than the year she’d spent with the man she’d married. Tears pooled in her eyes, but she felt a growing strength within her as well.  _ This _ was what he’d meant when he said he’d do what was needed to keep her safe; the lack of doubt, content in the knowledge that what they’d have in one night, in one lifetime of loving one another, even if they couldn’t show it. There would always be longing - how could there not be? - but  _ they _ would always be. Armitage Hux may have her body, but Ben Solo held her wit and soul.

“Is it late?” she asked, slowly calming her harried breathing.

“Not yet.” He curled his body around hers, breathing gently behind her ear. “We’ve some time, but we shouldn’t delay too long.”

_ Some time _ was better than nothing. Slowly, Rey moved her arm and reached behind her, running her hand through the hair on his thigh until it rested on his hip. His hardness was pressed into her backside, and he made no move to hide it when she moved. “I want to touch you.”

“You don’t need to,” he said gently, warmed at her words. “I did because I desired to.”

“I know I don’t  _ need _ to,” she moved through his arms carefully, still thrumming from her orgasm, and gave him a look she hoped was similar to what he had given her when he was between her thighs. “I want everything I can have with you. Everything you’re willing to give me.” She put her hand back on his thigh, waiting for his permission. As much as she wanted to reach out and take him in her hand confidently, she couldn’t help but think of the times Hux had batted her hands away impatiently. She would move only when he said so.

The smile he gave her in turn sent shivers down her spine. She didn’t hesitate when he kissed her, caring little about the taste of her on his lips, and felt his hand cover her own on his thigh. The heat from his body intensified until she finally felt her fingers brush against his cock, hardened and leaking from his earlier ministrations. He gave her a moment to feel it for herself, curiously wrapping her fingers around him and feeling his length, before covering her hand with his own once again.

Patiently, he breathed instructions to her, showing her how to grip and where to increase pressure. Once she found a pattern that worked, he took his hand away, brushing his fingers against any bit of skin he could. Rey watched his face carefully, captured by his changing expressions, and noting each movement that caused his eyes to flutter. Ben was always a stoic mountain of a man, rare to express emotion outside of any but her, but watching him crumble with nothing more than her hand was intoxicating. Leaning forward, she kissed him again, unsure of what else to do besides kiss and touch. “What more can I do?”

He made a sound that was a mix between a laugh and a gasp. “I don’t know that I’ll last if you do more.”

The question seemed to hold far, far more than she could currently comprehend. As her fingers moved over the tip, she felt the bead of precum and was struck with inspiration. “May I use my mouth? The way you used yours?”

The mental image alone was nearly enough. Ben froze, willing his blood to simmer, placing his hand over hers to stop her movement. “I’d love nothing more,” he encouraged, willing back every fantasy he’d had over this very topic over the years. She relaxed further and took his words for what they were, feeling a rush of excitement knowing she’d suggested something he’d long wanted. 

Slowly, she sat up and watched him as he moved, eyes devouring every bit of skin she could find. Powerful calves and thighs shifted and pushed him further up the bed, allowing his back to rest against the wall, but it was his hips and manhood that had her full attention. His member was swollen, the tip a bright red, fully erect and pointing away from his body. She noted how deeply he was breathing, his eyes closed for a few moments before looking back at her. He smiled, beckoning her towards him with a hand. “What control you have over me.”

“I doubt I need to express that the feeling is mutual.” She returned his smile, letting him pull her close to sit next to him.

“Not at all,” his grin was wolfish, waiting as she got settled before licking his lips suggestively. “It’s clear enough for the both of us.”

She chuckled quietly as she leaned forward to kiss him. Talking to Ben had always been easy, but it was incredible how intimacy had changed it. So much was present that hadn’t been before, and Rey wondered idly if it always would be, even if this was the only night they had.

Ben cupped her cheek and angled his head, deepening the kiss momentarily. “Take in only what you’re able,” he whispered. “Believe me when I say I won’t be disappointed in anything you do.”

“I need a teacher,” she whispered back playfully. “Will you show me?”

His heavy lidded gaze was heated. Without a word, Ben wrapped his fingers around her wrist and lifted it to his face. Never breaking eye contact, he licked a broad, wet stroke over her palm and fingers, watching the way her pupils dilated. “Take in what you can,” he repeated, taking her wet hand and wrapping it around the base of his cock. “And let this do the rest.”

Rey glanced down at their joined hands. The sight was incredibly erotic, and his actions only made the ache in her thighs worse. Shifting her legs to balance her weight, she leaned forward and pressed a brief, soft kiss to his tip. He exhaled shakily almost immediately, eyes locked on hers, hands threading through her hair to keep it out of the way.

Taking a deep breath, her lungs filled with the scent of musk, sweat, and the faintest hint of herself. Emboldened, she leaned forward and wrapped her lips around the head. He was almost hot, the skin taught in her mouth, and she had the quick realization that she wouldn’t be able to take in the rest of him easily. Grateful for his earlier instruction, she squeezed him gently at his base, her hand sliding easily up his length, while she gently bobbed her head forward to take more of him into her mouth. Her name was a strangled groan in his mouth, and she decided immediately she needed to hear it again. Placing her hand just below her mouth, she guided both down as far as she was able. Just from the action alone, she swore she felt him become harder.

“Just like that, sweetheart,” he shuddered. She felt herself glow with his praise, eager to do more for him. Thinking back to the things he’d done for her, she raised her free hand and caressed his thigh, threading it through the hair under his navel in a gentle tease, then took it lower still. She released him from her mouth to watch his expression when she touched his balls, noting the strained exhale and how his jaw tightened. 

She paused. “Should I not…?”

“Please do,” he choked out, his fingers trembling as he tried not to grip her hair too tightly. “Though, I’m much closer than I thought I was.”

“Is that not the purpose?”

He chuckled quietly, looking down at her with a softness in his eyes she’d never tire of. “I want to share it with you as often as possible.”

The invitation was clear and hard to ignore. With an impish grin, she took him in her mouth and took in his length in two quick bobs, swirling her tongue against him, just to watch him struggle. She released him with a wet pop and made a move to straddle his waist. “May I?”

He smiled, crooked teeth and all, and wrapped his arms around her. He helped her settle onto his lap, but adjusted himself to stay outside of her for the moment. They kissed passionately, enveloping each other, wanting to move fast and slow down all at once. His hands rested heavily on her hips. “When you move,” he murmured. “Roll. Don’t push. You’ll find your rhythm.” 

She wasn’t totally sure what he meant until he moved his hands, gently digging his fingers into her back and hips to guide her. It caused her to move against his length, and she groaned into his kiss. He whispered praise into her skin, sliding his lips down her throat and to her shoulder, playing a dangerous game when he gently ran his teeth along her skin. He ached to know if she’d like it, if she’d wear marks with pride. Instead, he brought a hand to her core, slipping easily into her wetness, and kissed along her throat as she moaned.

“Wet already,” he grinned, pulling back to watch as he angled himself just so, guiding himself right to her entrance when she rolled her hips once more. He’d meant to see her surprise, how her eyes would widen and her mouth open as he slipped easily into her, but the feeling was so wonderful, and he was so hard, that he ended up breathless and gasping, closing his eyes when her heat encased him. 

Rey hesitated, but only for a moment. She was there, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and placing comforting kisses to his face and jaw. When he was fully within her, a feeling she knew she’d never forget, she nuzzled his cheek with her own, her lips next to his ear. “ _ Ben _ …”

Breathing heavily, Ben wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly, as he slowly moved his hips to meet hers. She understood instantly, slowing her pace to meet him more precisely, moaning as one when the change brought them together perfectly.

Was it always this instinctual, this easy, to fall into pace with your lover? It was as though they could read the mind and desire of the other, touching and kissing where needed, breaths mingling in their kisses. Desire covered them, love guided them, and the moment Ben started to thrust a bit harder was one she was prepared for. His hand hadn’t left her core, fingers lazy circling her clit, but they became more insistent the closer he got. In turn, she rolled her hips harder against his thrusts, enough that their skin slapped together, and the combination of everything made her so dizzy with desire she felt she could scream.

“ _ Rey, _ ” he grunted, leaning down to capture a nipple, urging her on. She could feel a slight twitch, the lone warning sign before his release. “ _ Now! _ ”

She lifted higher on her knees, feeling him slip out of her just before he came, pushing her breast further into his mouth. He frantically fingered her clit as he groaned loudly against her, holding her best as he could, her legs trembling, as her body curled over his head. Her cries were lost into his hair, but he kept her secure until she gave out, letting her slide back into his lap, satiated and blissed. 

They didn’t move, breathing heavily, lost in each other. Her breaths fluttered across his skin, arms and hands gripping him like a lifeline, and it wasn’t until his senses started to return that he realized he held her the same. They were lost in the delusion that if they held the other tighter, somehow time would stop, as though it was already up.

That perhaps this was the last time.

Opening his eyes, Ben looked at the wall in front of him, and noted the bit of sunlight that made the interior brighter than it was when he’d awakened earlier. His heart sank.

Dawn.

He said nothing, instead choosing to take one more moment to remember the warmth of her skin, the light whimpering sound she made after she came, and the way she kissed him with abandon. But it was this instant, sated, happy, and fully in control of her own actions and desires, that he’d treasure most. In at least one place in time, she acted because she wanted, and oh, how blessed he was to share that with her.

He nuzzled his nose against her temple, kissing her cheek to coax her into looking back at him. She smiled lazily, blown pupils staring back, as she leaned in to kiss him again. He brushed strands of hair off her forehead, and she hummed happily. “My heart…”

A lump formed in his throat. Would he ever hear her say that again?

She searched his eyes, and he watched as a realization slowly dawned on her. He wasn’t sure how easy he was to read, but she’d always had a knack for knowing him better than others. She didn’t pull away, but sadness was already flooding her eyes. “Is it time?”

He couldn’t lie to her. He slowly nodded.

Rey closed her eyes and fought desperately to keep her composure. He watched her lips wobble, her skin turn ruddy, but she took a deep breath and rested her forehead against his, breathing him in, capturing this moment as he did before. Patiently, he let her, running his hand through her hair, touching her as much as he dared. Before too long, she’d be covered up, and the chances of him ever seeing it again were great.

“We’ll do what is needed,” she whispered, and he heard the vow in her voice. Though glassy, no tears fell from her eyes. Reluctantly, she rose from his lap and moved away from him, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and reaching for her clothing.

She felt terrifyingly numb going through the motions of a morning ritual. She knew time was against them, but to meet it and accept their fate all over again was a cruel kind of torture. To go home knowing she’d have to bed Armitage after one night with Ben… she forced the thought from her mind. She had better memories to help her through the years now, and the object of her desire would always be near, if never in her bed again.

Said object was slowly walking towards her with a corner of the blanket they’d slept under in his hand. The end was dripping with water, and it occurred to her that he must have swapped out the muddy water and replaced it while she slept. Kneeling, he cleaned the last of his seed from her body, and nuzzled a kiss onto her mound without a word. Ever considerate, ever watchful, filled with more kindness than others knew. That was her Ben.

She dressed without a word and stepped towards him to help put his armor back into place once she was finished. He was thorough, having done it every morning for so long, but allowed her the time to do this one thing for him. When the last piece was clasped into place, he reached for his cloak and settled it over her shoulders while she slipped into her shoes, using his arm for balance. The sheets he took and stuffed into the basin, followed by opening the window to air out the room. The evidence of their evening, as much as it could be, extinguished. 

Everything in her ached. Their sanctuary was never theirs to begin with. Everything already felt like it was changing too fast. She followed the sound of his boots to the door, then, determined, reached out to put her hand over his.

“Wait.”

He was expressionless when he turned to her, his mask already in place.

“Before we leave,” she stepped closer to him, her voice dropping to a whisper. “Say my name?”

Tenderness flooded his eyes. The barest of smiles lifted the corners of his mouth when he answered, “Rey.”

“And the other one?” She raised her hand and gently caressed his cheek. “Your other name, just for me, my heart?”

He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, easy and lingering, with an aching lovingness that she felt in her bones. “Sweetheart.”

_ Promise me that I’ll hear them again. Promise me this won’t be our last night. _

She couldn’t say what she wanted. There were no promises they could make from this night. When he pulled back to look at her, she understood he felt the same.

“Ready?”

Reaching for the hood of his cloak, she nodded, standing behind him as he opened the door and following him from their refuge to the world once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will there be a third part to this AU series? Eventually, yes. I'm not quite done with these two yet, but I hope you've enjoyed, and I thank you so very much for coming along for the ride. <3
> 
> Follow me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/numbers_name)


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